Take time for you: A lesson in balance

Avoid the burn out now.

Sometimes, you need to take time for you.

Obvious, but, no, let’s REALLY talk about this, because I am not only worried about myself, but so many around me.

I was sick, a few weeks back, and tried, like hell, to take some time off. You may even recall those blogs.

*Abbi note to self, link those blogs and be a good  blogger who does that shit*

https://wp.me/paWhQK-1B- My blog when I was getting sick, but I didn’t take time for myself.

https://wp.me/paWhQK-1N- My blog in which I was back from the sick dead, and lamenting some of the things I did wrong with getting sick.

white ceramic mug on white table beside black eyeglasses
Via Unsplash, Kelly Sikkema

I tried to take time for myself the first day. Instead, I came into work in the morning, stayed until the afternoon, and just left a couple hours early.

The next day, I slept in, and went in an hour or two late, and left in the afternoon.

The next day, I went to the DMV very early in the morning, did errands, swung by work for an hour, came home.

The day after that I worked a full day.

I felt horrible the whole time, but what could I do? I have a full time job that requires much of my time, and a blog I am desperately hoping to maintain and grow.

So I kept working. That weekend, I rested a bit, but also had to clean a little. I didn’t do as much cleaning as I needed to, or even prepping for the week, so I was behind all week.

I spent all week trying to catch up on the cleaning and the blog, so I stayed up later than I wanted every night, and then slept in every day. I was late every morning, I was frazzled every day.

At the same time these small things relating to getting sick and not taking proper time to rest, I was getting hit with family news nearly every day, a saga of my grandfather’s deteriorating health unrolling with all the flare of the very best soap operas. No, I won’t go into details right now, maybe one day many years from now, the way I write about things twenty years ago that destroyed me then. But not now. For now, know that it is getting pretty damn tricky to stay positive when my mom calls with news.

I mean, how messed up is the world when my mother and her two siblings, who have fought their entire lives, all agree on something?

As it turns out? A pretty shitty world.

So, I didn’t take time to heal up. I was behind all week, my family kept dropping crazy news on me, oh, and my boss went on his much deserved vacation, leaving much to handle. More changes in the company made it even more difficult. No, I won’t go into any of that either. For now.

All of this together led to a VERY stressed out Abbi. I have avoided the many breakdown that malfunctioning accounting software can lead to. I have fought the urge to break down over an errant copier, a broken fax machine, and impossibly tedious, nasty, rude people. I had realized I needed a break, last week, and scheduled myself off for Friday, tomorrow, to give myself a three day weekend, a much needed one to rest, work on the blog, Flake City, and also my apartment.

Then I got even more news, and even more stress, from literally all the sides that had already beenbothering me, plus a few new, creative inventions.

I went home. Bret and I ordered BBQ, indulging on one of our meat days, and we went to bed at 10:30.

And we slept.

I didn’t schedule a blog. No, the blog you are reading is not scheduled, it is being written shortly before posting. I will write it, spell check it, add pictures from Unsplash, and then I will post it. Live.

Why?

 Because a few YouTubers this week, and last, ALSO had bad days and bad weeks. Instagram Influencers. Fellow Poshmarker’s, bloggers, Medium writers… fellow “side hustle” people, even some of the elite Gary Vee crowd…started burning out.

Now, for some people burning out is good, they learn things, etc etc etc. For others, they can lose everything. I don’t want that to happen. More so when we all could avoid the big nasty burn out.

I went home, I ate, I did some online shopping, I didn’t worry about the blog. I LITERALLY said: “Well look, I need to tell them to all chill, and if I am truly a Meta writer, I have to actually show the reality.”

So here it is. We all need and deserve a break. Sure, we can’t always take a week off of work and jet to Bora Bora to recharge our batteries, but we can lessen our responsibilities and give ourselves a break.

I am still working today because I scheduled myself off for tomorrow. I knew no matter how frayed I was getting, I had to come in and handle my responsibilities. But with me burning like this, I had to put something aside. So I ordered take out, did some shopping, made some great notes on my blog, and committed to writing it as soon as I could in the morning, to still get my blog up, but ALSO show everyone reading, how to give yourself a break.

I had to let myself take Friday off. I had to let myself not schedule the blog last night so it would be marked “done”. I had to commit to pushing some obligations of the morning to still make time for my art. Too often we let our personal stuff fall aside. I had to let the Poshmark store slide, this week, I did no PFF shares, and I didn’t even self-share yesterday. I will, today, after I post my blog. Balance. I have to be willing to do the work, and I also have to be willing to reorder what I am doing and how I am doing it.

I am reaching out to friends this week and actually asking for help. I rarely ask my friends for help, and it turns out, the very few I have asked are happy to help, because they know I need the help, and I always help them.

person wearing gold ballerina shoes
Via Unsplash: Sarah Cervantes

We have to be willing to reach out. Even within our own communities. If you need someone to help, reach out. Some of the people who have avoided big burn out, did so by taking small steps to help themselves. One of my absolute favorite resellers, Quay (StyleManor) saw this happening, and took a nap. Quay is also a super smart, savvy badass, who already balances her life pretty well, (From what I can see anyone, this lady hustles and also takes care of her, seriously go check out her YouTube Channel/Instagram page/Reseller pages and you will see it too- she has great balance) and she pulls back when she needs to, and pushes forward when she can. She took a nap and got back to it. Self care matters, and it isn’t always a bubble bath, but sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s a nap. Sometimes it’s not sharing closets as often, drinking enough water, or eating what you want: life is all about balance.

Looking back, I should have done more when is saw Quay take a nap, and I should have probably taken today off of work too, but then I may have ended up more behind next week. Looking back, I can see that now, because life is all about balance.

So, look around, and watch for those signs of burn out, and stop them before they ever get any steam or traction. Stop them dead in their tracks before you get to true burn out.

As I have said many times, you matter, and we need you out there, being you, so take breaks when you need it. If you get sick, go home, and no matter how helpless your boss is don’t go in. Because guess what? That same helpless boss needs you in fighting shape when he goes on vacation and everything tries to go sideways. He needs you to not be ready to break down when everything is very nearly on fire.

So, take the break. Tell him you are sick, and don’t go in. If the form needs to get faxed over he can fax it himself. He is a grown ass person.

Take time for yourself, tell the world you need the time. The world needs you to neglect them sometimes so you are in better shape the rest of the time.

So take time for you, please, and don’t burn out.

Take a day or two, don’t make videos, or, record your vlog, don’t bother editing and uploading, so in the future you have “notes” for your content and lesson in the art of taking time for you. It will all be content, and you can help yourself later, in more ways than one, by taking time now.

Take notes on blog ideas, don’t force yourself to write.

Save recipes, order take out.

Or, forgive yourself for making an instant pizza or thing of cheesy ramen for dinner, you can do a full cooked properly balanced meal when your mind is mentally balanced.

 Rest now, have a salad for lunch tomorrow. Balance the unhealthy choices with the healthy ones for a balance in self-care.

woman doing yoga meditation on brown parquet flooring
Unsplash: Jared Rice

Take care of you. We need you out here!

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Abbi

Feel free to follow me on all the social medias: @AbbiGrasso on Twitter, Instagram, Poshmark,  Speekin’, LinkedIn, Pinterest, WordPress, Medium, YouTube, WeedTV, and any place else I have forgotten.

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