I found a new YouTube creator today, which was pretty cool. She had a form to fill out, to indicate your interest if she were to start an infleuncer agency. I am far from wanting to be an influencer, but I do want to always be bettering myself in the field of marketing and communications, more so with the emphasis on content creation. With this in mind, I filled out the form, and came to a question about my five year plan.
It was funny, because even though I typed from the heart, and did so honestly, I can truly say I had not really thought about it.
I mean, I know what I want, but I hadn’t put it into words.
I don’t want crazy riches.
I want to have a place I own, a secure home, in which art is the main focus. I want to be free to create, to have my partner and I both be able to create freely all day every day. I would like to have a small team working with us, out of that space, and eventually growing that space into its own space where art is the focus, and our home is still a home dedicated to art.
A home where the magic that is art, the magic that is the world around us, the magic of the world, can live free, can flourish, and never once be in doubt. Where art, and those who love it, can thrive.
I want the space to be self sustaining, to be a place that helps the world around it and produces art to make the world a better place.
But I don’t need, or even want riches. Once I hit a certain level, the rest will likely be donated or given to friends and family. We don’t need individuals hoarding wealth.
I am not saying I don’t want millions, but I only want enough to be able to sustain myself, and my family and our pursuits, and money doesn’t go as far as it once did.
But, even with modest goals of not wanting to be filthy rich, the desire to be comfortable and self sustaining is still a large one.
But I knew what my first step for these goals were, these lofty huge goals of a studio space or theatre type space where all forms of art live and breath, and a separate home for art too, all of those goals come from a short term goal of a smaller home, with a small team, self sustained with art.
I knew, without ever really mapping it, what my five year goal was. The kind of house, space, and situation I wanted for the five year milestone. I also knew that I will make it happen, because I have spent the past few months molding myself into the kind of person I have always wanted to be, the kind of person who could self sustain from their art, their craft.
I am not there yet, but I feel in my bones that I am close, and that I am on the way to it.
How can I know? People don’t read as much any more, my writing is niche, my style is unique…I don’t even “look” like the other influencer types, or content creators, or hell, even the cool writers with brilliant social media game.
But I do have me. I am authentic, true, and I am not trying to pander.
I am dedicated and I am working every day, and I know, I KNOW I will get there.
So, it was kind of cool to be filling out a form to a woman who is all about knowing your worth and knowing what you want, and realizing that damn, despite your crippling anxiety and PTSD, you are really making massive growth every day, because you do know what you want, and you do know how to get there, and you are working towards it, aggressively and sensibly, every day.
I guess I hadn’t realized how much I had grown in the past couple of years, and it was a damn good feeling, and I just wanted to start this daily blog with that thought.
Any ways, the creator who brought about this epiphany is Breeny Lee and her handle is @BreenyLee. She has a YouTube, Instagram, SnapChat and Twitter, her name I believe is the same on all, like myself, because she is a badass lady.
Well, I spent much of the day being hella productive, despite being in tons of pain, because I am a woman, and we are pretty fucking unstoppable.
So today in the “G.Y.S.T.”ing (Get Your Shit Together), I was able to gain control of the apartment and the cleaning again, which is a tough trick, despite being a small apartment, it gets messy fast and I lose control of it. Lately I have been doing tons of what I call “Bandaid” cleaning, which is where you just kind of surface clean, giving you the appearance of semi clean, but major messes lurk around every corner.
I found some nice cleaning videos which motivated me, and I am now sitting in a much cleaner apartment.
As frequent readers to the blog can attest, I am constantly trying to make this apartment work for us, because in so many ways, it is perfect. The price is sensational, it is all bills paid, it is a three minute walk from our work, which is extra helpful considering we don’t even own a car. Our apartment is incredibly located, every Houstonian would be jealous of the spot/price ratio, more so when you add in the proximity to work. Our apartments are incredibly dog friendly, no dog limits and no breed restrictions, but no children, so really, kind of perfect for us, despite not really having anyone our age here.
Actually, some people close to our age live here, but everyone kind of sticks to themselves, which also works well.
No one complains about our weed, Bret’s music, or any noise we make, nor do they make noise we hear. It is an older building, prone to its own unique challenges, but, the price and location are hard to beat, even with those challenges.
This all said, I would kill for an in unit washer and dryer or a dishwasher.
I digress; I have been trying to make this space better for us, so despite being small and outdated, I want to make it more homey for us, because despite wanting more space, it is noticeably more responsible to tough it out here to save money.
So, I want to renovate the bathroom a bit. I had painted it previously, the dark green and purple it is now in the semi-field attempt to channel the vibes of New Orleans.
I now want to channel a more zen like feeling, with a stronger emphasis on storage and neutral colors. I also want to add a curved shower bar so the shower curtain will stop attacking me and triggering me in the shower.
This all cost money, which is annoying, so I am probably going to do this is phases, with a coat of light paint and a new shower curtain and curtain rod, as the first two steps.
In the kitchen, I want to add some backsplash tiling, just some peel and stick stuff, and maybe a reorganized space, although, really, I am closer and closer to happy with the kitchen, from last years efforts of getting this apartment more workable for us.
That’s right. I have done one round of “remodel” for this apartment already, to get it to where it is now.
Did I mention we get a great deal on rent here? And it’s all bills paid?
The rental, and wanting to not spend a ton of money, has me wanting to only buy things I can take with me, but also, a nicer apartment would cost us $400 or more a month…so I don’t mind spending it once or twice to have a nicer apartment at the same lower price.
So, now I am smoking with Bret and preparing to dive back into some Flake City writing, but I also have two blogs to finish up.
As you may know, I took pictures for a new Sunday Prep “How to clean your…” blog, which was for how to clean your bong, but I have yet to write it, and I wanted to post those on Sunday’s, so, that is annoying.
I now will either post it not on the right day, or wait a week. I will probably wait a week, and just schedule it, so I don’t miss this time. I need to actually write it. I have also finished the cookie baking blog and need to add those photos.
But I have been a bad blogger this week, work was killing me, as you may know from my past couple of entries.Tomorrow, however, is Monday, and I am pretty damn good at Mondays.
Tomorrow I will be back to my usual trying to post as often as possible, writing every chance I get, and hopefully, not letting the zombies of my day job get me down. It is hard, with work, to stay chipper, but this week we end up in October, and the rest of the year is my favorite time of year, and I have giant writing projects coming up, so I am choosing to focus on all of that good stuff, instead of any bad stuff that may also be coming, because why worry about that stuff? Between NaNoWriMo, my blog, my writing, Blogmas, Bret’s birthday, Halloween, my birthday, Thanksgiving, and all the winter holidays, I have no time for the bad stuff.
So, It isn’t late, but it isn’t early either, and I still have to do my face mask, fold clothes, and try and relax before work tomorrow, so, I am going to wrap this blog up now, so I can try and squeeze in relaxing around the writing, folding clothes, and skin care routine.
This week I have a few different types of blogs dropping, including the recipe blog, a skin mask review that was requested by a few people over on my Instagram page (@abbigrasso over there if you want us to connect), as well as the cleaning blog and my usual dailies, so hopefully this week I will be getting back on my blog game. I have picked up a few new followers and I would love to ensure you have plenty of new content to read. If you like any one kind of the blogs you will be seeing this week, or that you see in general, comment and let me know.
I hope you have had a wonderful weekend, and you have an even better Monday, or whatever day it is when you read this.