Daily Blog #73 “Tough self love, doubling down, and the carpool of life and success.”

Tuesday Morning

It may be self tough love time.

I don’t know if it is was putting myself out there in my email to Unsolicited Advice, I don’t know if it is my job being unable to pay on the correct day, I don’t know if it is being tired of making all these changes in my life just to have shit stay the same.

I am done.

I am at a breaking point, and so is my partner.

I am dead ass tired of nothing changing.

If you have followed the blog, you now I started it with a bunch life changes. I have made now, officially, 100 blog posts, I have proven myself to be competent, interesting, and consistent. I put out at very least decent, well thought out, and at least intentionally caring, writing, that strives to leave a positive impact, and I also do this consistently, putting out, on average, at least five blogs a week, each averaging, according to WordPress 1,459 words per post.

I do this because I was tired of the same old crap, so I made changes to see changes.

I started getting up earlier, I started blogging, I added semi regular working out, biking 30-50 miles minimum per week from my apartment on my stationary bike.

I have found balance by blogging while I work out some days, or blogging while on hold at work.

I have rearranged my life, and cut out most of my extra’s.

We rarely go out, opting to save our money and work on our crafts, to better our situation.

Even more recently, we have cut out much of our eating out, we have changed our diets to include more veggies and fruits, less junk food.

We drink 100 ounces of water a day, eat healthy snacks…We have basically done what we can to make our situation better.

But nothing is changing at work.

Our finances haven’t improved, our happiness at our job hasn’t improved…

Because sometimes it isn’t about YOU.

Our workplace is refusing to grow into something that treats people well.

I don’t want to allow my job to let me get too negative on the blog, but I will say I am overly tired of making tons of changes to better my life just to have nothing change at the place where I spend, on average, 40-50 hours of my life.

I am not going to just up and quit my job, it would hurt me and screw them over badly, but I am going to be working more aggressively at becoming independent from this job, so I don’t feel as desperate to keep a job I can’t stand.

Searching for, not tricking into, my people

I have made changes, and now I am going to double down on them.

I am vlogging everything, in hopes of finding more of “my people” that is, people who are into what I create. I know not everyone is on a blog site like WordPress or Medium, some people live on YouTube, so, here I am, trying to find those people. As you may recall from a past blog, I have no interest in tricking people into being a fan of mine.

I want them to genuinely be a fan, to enjoy this stuff.

I am not writing for a target audience of anyone other than people who like the stuff I create, because I create the art I am hoping to see. I am not wanting to trick people into liking my content, I just want to find the people who do.

In addition to vlogging, I am also going to start looking into making my own tee-shirts, some “Don’t let the zombies get you down” shirts or maybe some “Make changes to see changes.”

Bret and I also discussed the need to “be open” about ourselves and our life.

We make art and have no time. We need to multi task much of our lives to have time for art, and it would probably serve as an informative bit of information for other artists doing the same, or anyone else out there who may be approaching that struggle.

So, it means filming more, it means filming us cleaning, cooking, all while trying to edit a blog, compose a piece of music.

Doubling down to help other artists and also make changes to see changes.

So, I will be probably putting a little more money into the blog, upgrade it a bit, so i can add some videos and audio files to it, some more content for you lovelies, and also be looking into a redesign a little.

I love my current layout- I like the blog feeling like it is “in dark mode” but I want to clean it up a bit and maybe add a photo gallery for some of our trips, events, and for the upcoming wedding planning series.

In the theme of providing content I want to see, or that I need, I plan on documenting as much of the wedding planning as possible on the vlog and blog, and document it, so I can offer the information to other future couples…

You see, I know for a fact that we are not the only ones who want to find a way to have a destination 420 wedding that their families don’t hate, that the couple love, their friends love, and that doesn’t break the bank.

Blending in the DIY, means even more should be documented, to help more people…namely because when I search for videos about 420 destination weddings and DIYing stuff, I don’t get many results.

So I will make the content for future people to get the results.

Like I said, really doubling down.

As far as money management goes, I am stopping all non essential eating out. We can stock the freezer with the regular rounds of frozen’s Bret and I regularly will eat even when stressed or busy, and live of those and salads and the other assorted quick easy meals we make, to save money for the gear and savings we need.

Make changes, see changes.

Bret is putting his highly impressive resume out there to see if anyone needs or wants commissions. He is willing to work for cheap, if there is a lot of work, because we are both ready to get out of this situation and into a better one, so we are willing to work.

If you are a cannabis friendly company, (or one that doesn’t mind their creatives being cannabis friendly) that wants a content creator, slide into my DM’s…You would be amazed at the unique stuff I can come up with, and I promise, I probably already have a list of hilarious and informative blogs, vlogs, and yes, even TikToks, for your company… I hate to admit this, but it is worth mentioning, I think about this stuff all the time.

I love communication and I love the blend of communication and marketing, more so now that the present and future has turned into it that beautiful blend.

I am willing to create content for companies or even creatives and small businesses, also for probably less than you would think, but for fair prices.

Where most bloggers can barely crank out 500 words on a single topic, I will gladly break that topic down and discuss it in full. You want 1,500? With original pictures? You got it.

Want Videos? Lets collaborate!

Want a podcast? Lets do it.

A ghostwriter? Sure, your brain, my words, let’s get it done!

My art is quality, and so are you, so if you want to collaboration, please, don’t be shy. Even if you can’t pay, if you are a smaller company, or are also working your way up as an independent, maybe we can collaborate on something that is mutually beneficial…Let’s all help each other get to the place we are going.

It’s like a carpool, but with life.

We all have places we are going.

I want to make changes to see changes, to get where i am going, not where i have been or where i am.

And if this describes you, let’s talk.

Even if you don’t need any of my “services”, let’s talk anyways. I am all about building a community of people, and if any of this resonates with you, we would probably get along, so lets become friends.

We can surround ourselves with other people, all trying to make a better life, which, if successful experts giving Ted talks and writing Medium articles are correct, is a key part of achieving success: Surrounding yourself with people on that same path.

You don’t get ahead by hanging around people who don’t want more, they say, so if you are also making changes to see changes, we should definitely connect.

So, let’s make a little professional carpool. A carpool for life.


Anyways, it is now Tuesday Afternoon, and I am trying to get out of the office at a reasonable time, as i have even more to do today than yesterday.

I am sure I will be updating later, because that is just who I am as a person, in between all I have to do.

Dinner, cleaning, working out (maybe), edit the blog, load the new vlog footage to my computer, (which takes a while, apparently), continue editing the vlog, wash my makeup brushes since I didn’t get to them. (Don’t worry, literally not using them until I wash them, hence my natural look you may see on me in my IG stories if you follow me on Instagram)

So, I have a bit to do, plus some creative writing, which is why I will draw this to a close and finish up at work, so I can get to my to do list for this evening and knock it out!

Woo! I love getting shit done, even if it is exhausting to stay positive, upbeat, and productive.

Till later

Early Wednesday Morning

Early morning blog work

Spent much of yesterday and last night working on the vlog and getting Bret sorted for him to go out of town. We are still working on that last part, but while he is grabbing cash from the ATM, I opted to grab the laptop and finish out this blog.

Last night I was able to edit the vlog, clean, do a bunch of good stuff, and now I am trying to wrap up this blog to post it as well. Today is Wednesday, an even though that means Bret is going out of town and I am sad about that, it is the middle of the week and we are that much closer to the weekend.

Of course, my weekend will likely be busy with the wedding we are supposed to attend on Saturday that neither of us have clothes for yet.

I already need an external hard drive, with all the video I am taking.

The problem is, I keep my camera running most of the day because some of the people who happen to work in or near my office, are low key evil, so keeping a camera on records anything bad they may try to do. Or acts as a watchful eye so they don’t.

Sounds bad, but…Iuno, like I said, I don’t want to go into too many details, and it isn’t all bad, but, I do leave my camera on, which leads to no small amount of editing, and then I am stuck with tons and tons of footage and it is all taking up space on my poor laptop.

Other needs include more time, a proper camera, and a large grocery trip. I am planning out the later at the moment.

Anyways, today my goal is to stay positive and spend some time working on Flake City, yesterday I didn’t get much Flake City time.

Don’t let the Zombies get you down.


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