Daily Blog #83: “Needing time off, planning for my birthday, and also being okay with not doing it all, all the time.

Monday early evening/late afternoon

It is nearly the end of my usual work day and I can not wait to get the fuck out of here.
I desperately needed to take today as a personal day, for mental and physical health.
And we all see how well that worked out.

I think I may call in tomorrow, ahead of time, and take tomorrow. This past weekend was really rough on me, as a few of you i am connected with on social media actually noticed.

Also, side note, thank you so much to those of you who either noticed something was wrong and reached out or saw my tweets and IG stories about it and reached out, Sam, Shawn, and Pam. (Others may have reached out after the typing of this)


Okay some good news, my boss has given me a tentative day off for tomorrow to recharge my batteries and get to feeling a bit better. 

Assuming people don’t get too busy, forcing him to call me in to help out. 
I really hope I can spend some time for me. 

Bret of course, has been held up at work, so we aren’t having dinner at a decent hour, thats for sure. But, we will have some time together and I have tomorrow off. I made a small bit of snacks to hold me over until we can eat and I am going to try and write a bunch on the Kaya story, and I am already in love with how it is coming together.
So, I am off to do some writing, and hopefully I will update this later.

Tuesday Afternoon

I did not, in fact, update the blog last night. I decided to fight the work burn out by not doing anything. I didn’t do dishes, I didn’t blog, I didn’t work out, and I didn’t beat myself up over it, either. I did do some writing, but that was for me, too.
I didn’t do much, because I went to bed early and slept in late. Felt great, and I am feeling a good deal better for it.

I think half, maybe not half but nearly, of my troubles have been from holding myself to a very high standard of always doing a ton of stuff. I still do, and this isn’t some big high and mighty statement of me suddenly not holding myself to such a high standard, but I am keeping it in mind.

The other half is work, and it is driving me nuts. A day away from it has been helpful. I went ahead and scheduled my two days paid time off, for the two days after my birthday, so I can at least start 32 with a long weekend and a pleasant productive time. I can do any remaining projects I have around the house, hopefully, and prepare for any Thanksgiving plans I may end up having.

Anyways, earlier I did the cleaning I had neglected last night, and also swept a bit. Put together some groceries on amazon prime now, and vlogged the tiniest bit. I ended up deleting a bunch of footage I haven’t edited yet, and I need to edit some more stuff, so I filmed a little and will probably edit it together for some more practice.

Anyways, been writing a bunch on some other stuff, and I have another skin mask review to write, as well as a few more affordable masks to check out and review if they are worth reviewing. I have had a few people ask me about affordable masks so I am working on posting more for those people.

Anyways, I wanted to update this blog before posting it, but it is a pretty short blog, which I don’t love. I don’t like posting short blogs with no message, but I do feel this blog has a nice message.

Sometimes, when you are absolutely burning the fuck out, you have to take a break and reassess what is super important.

For me, I don’t have much time, and I don’t want to take things off my plate because they are either essential (work/cleaning/working out) or things I love. So, I need to find ways to have more time, and also more peace of mind. I have to find a way to keep work further away from my mental space, and keep the problems of that place at arms length. I don’t know how to do that just yet, but I do know I have to figure it out.

I need to reassert my Friday’s off, so I have time for things like cleaning projects and maintenance of the apartment and reselling business, so I can have time on the weekend for the longer term creation. If I get stuff done on Friday I have all of Saturday for any major writing or filming I want to do. 

But most of all, I have to be willing to let myself not only not do one or more of the things I want or need to do, but I have to also forgive myself and be okay with not getting to every single thing on my list every single day.

I am doing my very best. But I can’t allow myself to push myself to some nasty form of burn out which would ultimately set me back.

So, I am off to do some writing, because that is what I want to do. Remember, if you have any favorite types or styles of blogs you like seeing, feel free to DM or comment. I am always glad to post things my readers want to see, that I also like to talk about.
Happy Tuesday, this blog is going up on Tuesday afternoon, I look forward to seeing what everyone (meaning the stats) say about the posting time.




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