Daily Blog #147: being sicker than I realize and writing my ass off anyways.

Tuesday Late Morning (nearly afternoon)

Greetings and Salutations, blog readers!

Yesterday, I woke up quite ill. I spent half the day sleeping, the other half smoking enough weed to keep soup down, and today I am back at work…of course now it is dawning on me how much I had tricked myself into feeling better by smoking and sleeping, neither of which I can do when at work so…

Sick, no makeup, no shame.

I may be busting ass to bounce out of here earlier. I am moving slow and I am fairly miserable, because damn I do not feel well, but I am trying, I promise, to not be as miserable as I feel.

Alas, I have a bunch to get done today and really can’t afford to take so much time off of work. I would love to be home, however, relaxing, sleeping, or even writing, but namely, able to smoke, because let me tell you, I really thought I was on the mend, but I really think that was just me staying high on cannabis whilst at home. Now that I am at work, I am overly aware of a rapid decline in my health and overall feeling of wellness.

Now I just feel like poop, and have to keep racing to the bathroom, which, mind you, we don’t even have a restroom on this floor.

So, my boss just got here, I am gonna work hard to get stuff done and then get the fuck out of here.

Or, if that fails, I will just keep faking it, and try to write a little bit.

Tuesday Afternoon

It is now a bit later, properly in the afternoon, and I am working on trying to get out of work a little early because I don’t feel great.

As I mentioned earlier, I was only feeling better because I had smoked so much cannabis, so now I want to get home and smoke some more and rest up, so maybe tomorrow I’m not doing so poorly.

I am fairly hungry, but also nauseous, which, as anyone who knows can attest, is a cruel combo

So, because I am terribly hungry and also nauseous as fuck.

My boss brought me home, I took care of a few small things, and now I am going to put some soup on and maybe do some writing, but first, to blog!

I have a bit of writing to do in Flake City, but what else is new. I am working on Krista and Jasper, which is about to start getting “meaty” as I have plans for Krista and Jasper, but I will also need to return to the center of Flake City to tell some truly short (because these short ones end in death) stories of some people who don’t have long term goals in Flake City, but do offer plot points and information…Which bums me out because killing people bums me out. I will likely bang that out this week and next, if the willpower finds me, otherwise I will work on Krista and Jasper, Chloe and her group, and Kaya and Sam, as I am working on getting all the major pieces caught up and to the same point in Flake City, which is to mean, when the big storm hits. Krista and Jasper aren’t as “main story” as Chloe or Kaya, but they have a part to play and a fun part of story that involves more of the storm stuff, and less of the zombie stuff, which is really kind of fun.

I say all of this for a few reasons, one being so I can hold myself accountable and actually do the hard writing, and the killing of people, but also to provide some laughter when you, the reader, read these stories, and think back to this and the other blogs all about Flake City.

Because once you start reading any of the Flake City stories, you hear about the story that is coming, and the storm is a whole other part of the drama in Flake City. The storm also happens a few days into the start of the action.

As I write and grow parts of the story, like with any massive story, I uncover more and more to it, which for me is amazing and fun, but also means always seem to have more writing to get to…Which makes the fact that I write three thousand or more words a day very valuable…but honestly I wonder if 3k a day is even enough anymore, between the blog and the various Flake City stories.

I may have to bump it up to 5k a day, while also making my blog posts around 1,000. Maybe I don’t count the blog word counts as the main word count, and make myself stick to 3k (or 5k) with only creative writing, to keep up…I don’t know. This is something else to mull over, I suppose.

So, if you are a writer, or a reader of those who do, and you have any thoughts on this, feel free to comment below. I would love to hear your insights on finding writing balance between creative and blog writing- if you are the kind of writer who has 3k and up dedication.

Not to be too shady, but too many self proclaimed writers out there are offering advice to writing and writing balance, without putting in the work to prove they even have it down pat…You know the kind I am talking about. Haven’t touched their WiP in months, claim they have had writers block for weeks, maybe one blog a month or so, 500 words, normally a book review…

If I have offended you here, take that rage, open up your work in progress, and get to fucking work. Prove me wrong, show me what a big badass writer you are.

Because I am tired of seeing y’all not writing. I hope I do piss you off when I say you are being a lazy writer by not writing. I hope I piss you off so much you HAVE to write.

THEN when you are good and mad, and every damn day you write, come find me, so we can discuss how to balance real writing with real life.

I need more writing friends, basically. haha. She says as she goes out of her way to be mean and try to bully people into creating and working on their art.

Anyways, my soup is ready and I have much to write, obviously, and here I am pissing of fellow writers.

So, hopefully you are good and mad. I am going to go eat some soup, and maybe I will be back in a while to finish this, edit and schedule it, and maybe I won’t. We shall see.

Either way, go work on your art.

Later

Okay blog readers, we are back, and I am back at it again, to update and hopefully finish this blog up, so I can get it scheduled and knock out a few thousand more words.

Today was tricky, with me not feeling well, but I am hoping that a good nights sleep can help. I also need to get back on my working out, but we weren’t able to buy the AC we had wanted, as it isn’t stocked at Walmart anymore and now we have to look for a different one, but that worked out, as money has been getting tight. I need to get back on the working out grind, with or without the bedroom being set up for it, even if that means hauling the stationary bike out into the living room, and even if that means working out in front of Bret, because I need to work out to feel better, in general.

Mind you, it just turned 7:00, and if I were smart, I would be working out and blogging from there, instead of sitting on my ass blogging about it, but I have been dizzy and queasy and I would rather focus on feeling better, and getting the rest that I need, instead of pushing myself on the off chance of that helping my health, but also at the risk of over exerting myself and not healing quickly.

So, here it is, just passed 7:00, I am watching Zomboat! for the millionth time, and working on some writing. I had some soup earlier, and while I am hungry again, I am trying to instead drink a ton of fluids and catch up on my hydration before thinking of more food. When sick, I need to fuel my body to fight illness, but I also need to be hydrated enough to do so, and often you will feel hungry when you are in fact thirsty so…two birds, one hydrating stone, I guess.

Anyways, I am brainstorming some characters to kill, and also some shorter stories in Flake City that I can write up for the blog and to maybe publish for free alongside the main Flake City stories. I am working out a whole “roll out” plan for Flake City, but as that I am NOT some marketing pro, just someone with a background in communications, I am still evolving my research and fine tuning it to my ultimate artistic goals.

I am slowly learning exactly what it means to be a one woman publishing machine, as if I didn’t already, and let me tell you…I am tired and already beyond ready for a team to help me.

The thing is, no one looks at my graphic design ideas and says “Hey my background says try this” sure, I may ask people at work, or friends, but ultimately, I don’t have a team of people, or even a few marketing pros, who will look at it as part of the day to day of their lives, to give me insight. Because I don’t pay them to, hence why I wouldn’t expect it.

It also means no one is editing it and fixing it, fine tuning it, making sure the samples for the merchandise is just right, etc.

It’s just me.

It means when I have to edit hundreds of thousands of words after writing thousands of words, its the same tired eyes.

One woman machine is tired. So, I am working on balancing my time better. I have mentioned wanting to pre-write some of the the blog type posts, and then doing a couple more daily blog style blogs in the mix, to allow for more time daily for editing of Flake City, but, ultimately, with that much editing and that much constant writing, day to day stuff is hard, and I am still learning what half of that stuff is.

Like going through spam comments, answering comments, considering new topics, analyzing statistics, making adjustments and changes because deep down, despite all your big talk about not wanting to trick people into reading your stuff, you do want to make sure the algorithms that run the internet push potential readers to your page. I am also learning you have things like, your every day growth as a writer. So, every day, you are writing and growing and becoming a better writers. Every day, you get better at catching errors in spelling, typing, or grammar. This means you probably should go back through old blogs to ensure that any grammatical errors you may have missed are sorted so if that old algorithm does bring people your way, you know they see something good.

You have the day to day of finding, taking, editing, and loading, new pictures for your blogs. The mental strain of always searching for a fun blog lesson to wrap your day up with. Running a blog is so much more than typing every day, and posting whatever you think, and publishing is no different from that.

On top of that, with publishing and with the blog, all that tech stuff that always sounds greek to me? That’s all me too. All the HTML code, all the formatting, all the 1’s and 0’s that make me wonder how the fuck proper coders do this…all of that falls on me.

Not to mention I am a rubbish artist who can’t work computers very well, and graphic design and illustration ALSO falls on me.

So, what does this all mean?

It means that in the process of becoming the best possible writer, I am learning all the things I have left to learn, to grow at, to perfect, and I am also being forced, if I want to succeed, to learn things I never would have bothered with otherwise, because only my writing, my passion, my art, would make me learn shit as boring and awful as some of this computer stuff.

More power to you if you know this stuff, It likely means you are better at not only my job, but yours, and that you are much more hirable in the world, but I personally don’t get any of it.

But I am also an accountant and not many people like to or can do that. Once upon a time, I looked at it the same way I look at all this tech stuff…but I do my job every day, so clearly, I can eventually do the things I need to do.

Now that I know just how much I need to do.

Anyways, I am thinking of maybe learning how to do some of this on skillshare, once I buy a refurbished ipad to work on some of the designs I have been sketching. My goal is to be ready to purchase that once I have several sketches ready to be made digital.

I will keep on reading, writing, and editing, every single day, and keep taking pictures every chance I get, all while hoping I one day find a better camera or magically afford one.

I have to just keep doing these things to get better at them, reading helps too. As for the rest of it…well, I am figuring it out, and that is why I am blogging it…so anyone else who wants to know “How to do all the stuff you need to do to be a self published writer” or “how to be a writer all by yourself” or “how to build a creative empire that lets you make your art and pay the bills” will have this blog as a nice “how do succeed at being a writer” guide.

All the while, helping me grow as a writer, find my audience, and hold myself accountable. Plus, all the other great stuff that goes into blogging.

Anyways, it’s nearly 8:00 now, and I need to format this blog, and get back to the creative writing, so, I think I will wrap this up here, dear blog readers.

Time to put a name that suits my mood, instead of something that helps boost the algorithm, like the weird millennial I am.

Thanks for reading!

❤️

Abbi

Published by Abbi Grasso

I’m write and stuff. I write meta fiction, cannabis content, and modern fantasy. Sometimes separate, sometimes all at once. I focus on the meta more than anything. I make stuff too, not just universes.

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