I will do my very best, dear blog readers, to not rant for hours about how amazing the two new ladies in the Zombieland verse are.
I am partial, I am obsessed with Madison, and everyone writing her off as a dumb ditz has be defending her more than probably needed, because Nevada is just as badass, but, I decided that with these two ladies being so awesome, and with Berkley, an annoying poser who, despite that, has managed to survive for ten years in Zombieland, on a rule of strict pacifism.
Madison, the bubbly, sweet younger woman, romantic interest, albeit briefly, for Columbus, Nevada, the badass, slightly terrifying woman, romantic interest for Tallahassee, and Berkley a poser romantic interest for a brief period to Little Rock, before then making out with my girl Madison, who he also does not deserve. These three make up the new characters in Zombieland 2: Double Tap, and will be the focus of our discussion today.
I will do my best to not rant about how awesome she is, but everyone makes fun of her so…wish me luck.
We do meet Madison first, discovering that she has lived, alone, we can assume in the Pinkberry freezer, for ten years.
When Madison first meets Tallahassee and Columbus, she tells them she has been living in the Pinkberry walk in freezer, which she could keep secure, which makes sense, as walk in freezers have to be metal all the way around, they would be secure from zombies every tearing apart the wood and getting in, although, it would be freezing, literally. Even on the warmer side of walk ins, you are talking about living in a freezer.
Madison toughed it out for ten years.
In a freezer.
Alone.
Seemingly, venturing out for supplies when needed, as she is in decent shape and when she finds the guys she is in a candle section like Columbus.
Sure, she seems like a ditz, and by her own volition she was really into hot yoga and soul cycle, but, being fit has clearly been helpful, and considering the virus was a mad cow disease, her being a vegan would keep her form being infected.
Madison was able to raid for supplies, alone. Madison was able to ration her supplies, stave off insanity, stay healthy, hydrated, and even maintain a skin regiment.
Madison is everything I would want to have in a Zombieland situation, even with her “ditzier” personality traits, which are frankly refreshing when you have so many people all trying to be the edgiest sarcastic person in the room.
Like, as a person who leans on sarcasm, we don’t need groups to be full of only us. If you are mature, you know what I am talking about.
Madisons biggest problem is being in the group she is in, with one person regretting his own actions, another angry at her for reasons that have nothing to do with her, and Tallahassee, who is normally a bit more fatherly, but is instead being a bit of a jerk.
I mean, come on, I am pretty sure Wichita intentionally gave her trail mix with nuts after finding out she had an allergy because later, when she manages to get over her ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK, it sure does sound like Wichita KNEW she was allergic.
Whatever.
Madison is awesome.
Madison appreciates Columbus’s best quality, his obsession with survival rules, Madison also had the lady balls to straight up go after what she wanted when she wanted to fuck. Madison was horny, and needed “warmth” after ten years in the freezer, and straight up tells Columbus “either we do it, or I’m doing the old guy” like…she has no problem going after what she wants.
Anyways, back to this whole the gang kinda tried to kill Madison.
So Wichita gives Madison trail mix, knowingly or unknowingly of her allergy to nuts. Madison gets out and starts pukong, and even tries to get away from them because she is getting so gross and they decide to shoot her.
Thankfully Columbus doesn’t, but like…how scared would poor Madison be, having this horrible allergic reaction, fighting for air, and Columbus fires at you twice. After you already left the area so you wouldn’t gross him out.
And what does she do? She runs, all the way back to where she had seen a refrigerated clown ice cream truck that the gang had seen earlier, “I lived in a fridge for years, so I thought, why not a fridge on wheels!” and gets it to drive, hot wiring or finding the keys, and just keeps on surviving. Wichita tossed out her jacket and purse, but we also know that she ran through the woods so she probably never recovered those, but still, Madison changes clothing, fixes her hair and makeup, and carries on down the road.
Like the boss ass queen she is.
Madison likely looted what she needed, medicine included, using that awesome cardio and killer survivor instinct that has gotten her this far.
So, while Madison does this, Nevada is introduced, and yet again we have a badass.
Nevada is a gorgeous badass who is armed from the first second we see her, who has been living in this old Elvis Presley themed hotel, The Hound Dog.
This place has windows, and on the inside looks just like parts of Graceland…and yet, not one window is broken, nothing is disturbed…the only logical answer is she runs that tight of a ship. Sure you can chalk it up to the set people but I prefer to leave it to the literal interpretation of the story, which would mean that Nevada runs a tight enough ship to not worry about zombies breaking into the windows or doors of this place. Later on she somehow knows that the T-800’s are heading towards Babylon, and that they will need her help, so clearly, she is plugged in to whats happening, pretty darn well.
When we briefly meet and talk with Alberquerque and Flagstaff, we get the idea that Nevada plays BnB owner at times, letting people crash, but we don’t get the impression that she ever has more than her as a constant guest at the hotel. Nevada, it seems, is really crushing it as a badass woman on her own in Zombieland, but also, she has no problem with getting that dick when she wants it, bedding Albuquerque and Tallahassee with no fucks given to any social convention.
Nevada doesn’t just kick ass alone, however, holding down the fort and maintaining her home, no, she is good at reading signals, and be it that she saw the T-800’s heading towards Babylon later in the movie, or just knew they would need the help, Nevada drives the monster truck Tallahassee can’t handle, takes out countless zombies and saves the crap out of our primary cast…no wonder she is invited to stick around.
Sure, it is easy to say deus ex machina to the entire Nevada showing up to save the gang thing, but again, I prefer to just take it at face value and interpret it based on what I am given.
Nevada is so plugged in to what is happening, and is so aware of what is happening around her, be it some form of watching, or maybe reporting on some radio network we don’t know about, I don’t know, but somehow, Nevada knew they were headed towards Babylon- and came in clutch to save the day.
Speaking of clutch, Tallahassee had trouble driving the monster truck, to get it out of the driveway Nevada drove it all the way to Babylon. To save their asses when the dumb ass plan they had backfired. (Okay and Berkley helped too)
Of course, Madison also saves them, in the finale, dropping heavy stuff on the T-800’s, saving the entire gang, including Nevada, when the truck inevitably rolls over, but, sure, let’s all hold it against Madison that Columbus had sex with her.
She slept with Columbus, hasn’t she endured enough?
Madison however, was smart enough to realize that while Babylon had the issue it has at the end of the movie, for the most part it is a safe enough place with tons of weed, so, hard to blame her for staying there, either…but, I will stay irritated with how poorly the group handled Madison, with Columbus annoyed she “hadn’t gone back to her mall fridge” after her shot at her.
Girl had been alone for TEN YEARS, come the fuck on. She is such a nice girl, helpful, LITERALLY saves Wichita’s life, is hardy and survival savvy enough to be able to survive for ten years, alone, and also on her own in the wild. She is clearly a true survivor, and yet the gang treats Madison like some sort of problem. She just wants people. She was alone for ten years. Y’all spent the entire first movie talking about finding a little family, how can you begrudge her not going back to the lonely mall? Madison is a survivor, you shouldn’t doom her to more isolation.
Madison is a badass.
Nevada is a badass.
Berkley…
Look, I don’t like him and he rips off songs in a way that would be way shitty to do in the end of days, so fuck him, but, I will always give props to a guy who has managed to survive ten years in Zombieland on a strict no violence policy, just playing his guitar and smoking weed, and has a giant bag of weed on him ten years into Zombieland, so safe to say he is useful and handy in his own ways so, I he gets honorable mention to for great new characters worthy of discussion on the blog. Like…C’mon. Bro has a lot of shit figured out if he can be ten years into this shit and still have a giant ziplock (Rule #23: Ziplocks) bag full of fresh bud, and hasn’t been robbed by other survivors or killed by zombies. He has a freaking guitar he won’t swing to protect himself.
Surviving Zombieland with a strict non-violence policy. Now, sure, he probably spent tons of time in Babylon or places like it, the way he talks about Babylon and just…logically, but, either way, survivor. Plus, when Wichita and Little Rock met Berkley, he was just out in the wild, bags and guitar, like whatever, I’m hitchhiking. So…yeah, while I don’t like him, he is a survivor for sure.
I guess it is fitting that Berkley and Madison end up together as they are true survivors, however they have been surviving, but I would totally try to steal Madison away if I were in Zombieland. Madison is amazing.
So is Nevada, and I totally see why Tallahassee falls for her, and I am very glad Nevada joins them, albeit it surprised she does considering how she seems to enjoy her life at The Hound Dog and seems to really have a good thing going, I am also the first to say you need a group in the zombie apocalypse.
So, there you have it.
The three new main characters, Madison, Nevada, and Berkley, are fucking awesome, each in their own way, the two formers more so than the later, but, all in all, they are great.
Thanks for reading.
❤️
Abbi
Abbi Grasso Blog 