Daily Blog #185 -What is trust? Part One: The raw shock of betrayal.

Greetings and Salutations, dearest blog readers!

Today, we are going to discuss Trust. What it is, what it means, and what you have without it. First, like the debate kid I will always be: Definitions.

noun

  1. 1.
    firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
    “relations have to be built on trust”
    Similar:
    confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance conviction, credence, reliance
    Opposite: distrust, mistrust, scepticism
  2. 2.
    LAW
    an arrangement whereby a person (a trustee) holds property as its nominal owner for the good of one or more beneficiaries. “a trust was set up”
    Similar: safe keeping, keeping, protection, charge, care, custody, trusteeship, guardianship

  3. verb
  4. 1. believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of. “I should never have trusted her”
    Similar: have faith in, put/place one’s trust in, have (every) confidence in, believe in, pin one’s hopes/faith on, rely on, depend on, bank on, count on, be sure of, be convinced by, swear by, confide in
    Opposite: distrust, mistrust, doubt
  5. 2.
    ARCHAIC
    allow credit to (a customer).

Noun: (1) Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
(2) An arrangement whereby a person (trustee) holds property as its nominal owner for the good of one or more beneficiaries.

Verb: (1) Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

(2) Archaic- Allow Credit to a customer.

Today, We will be focusing mostly on the first parts of the definitions, the belief in the reliability, truth, ability, strength of someone, or something, and less on the credit checks and trustees of it, because frankly, lets be real, you would go to a banking or financial expert for a blog on the later half of these definitions.

Trust. This is normally something you will have with friends, family, spouses, and in some cases even coworkers. You trust the people in your life to do the things they say they will do, to act as they say they will act, and the thing that allows you to trust that they will in fact do as they say, is trust.

Their past words and actions, match up, allowing you to believe them when they say they will meet you somewhere, do a favor, or call you when they get home to let you know they arrived safe.

We trust these people to act in accordance to their own moral compass, and we trust that their moral compass is as they say it is.

For example, we may trust someone we have known for a long while to not steal, when they know stealing is wrong, and have informed you of such.

Sometimes trusting someone is a wish you shouldn’t have made.

You trust a spouse to not cheat when they say they won’t cheat.

You trust a friend to not drink and drive if they have promised not to do so.

You trust a roommate to pay their bills or wash their dishes.

And the betrayal of this trust can create a range of emotions. A very large range of emotions.

Little things, like forgetting to call when one said they would, may not erode the friendship, although several times, and it can create a strain. Cheating on a spouse, however, can create a much large feeling of betrayal.

Drinking when you promised you wouldn’t, therefore endnagering your life, and others, is a different kind of betrayal, normally based on the relationship, and previous life experiences. So many things can go into trust.

I myself have a great many issues trusting people, largely because I like to trust people, take them at their word…and other things that in our modern times mean: naive and fucking stupid.

I become an easy mark for bad people, for liars.

It’s all too easy for a liar, a narcissist, a bad person, it is all too easy to befriend me, as I am willing to trust you at your word, with the information you present to me.

And I have been burned. So many times. But none have felt quite as unique and special as my most recent betrayal….betrayed by the person I thought I could trust the most.

And in such a large way. Not just lying to me, but causing issues in my personal life as well as my professional life (my day job.) The stress of the betrayal and fall out from it has made writing nearly impossible.

So, basically, for those keeping track at home, my life has like three main parts, and this one act of betrayal threw all three of them into turmoil. In an instant, an action I knew nothing about, would be morally against had I known, a stupid action was taken, and my entire neat and orderly life was turned into a roaring dumpster fire.

Betrayal.

What comes after trust is lost? Betrayal.

So many people consider Betrayal to be the absence of trust, but the absence of trust is when you simply don’t know someone.

Betrayal is when you DID trust someone, but they did something counter to the things that earned the trust, and now you not only can’t trust them, you actively wonder if you can trust anything at all.

Betrayal happens when someone you never thought would do something, does the thing you never thought they would do.

Betrayal leaves you lost, crying, confused, and deeply unsure of every single part of your life.

Lack of trust just means you can’t count on someone.

I now have both.

Wooohoo.

So can trust be earned? Yes! Trust can be earned by people, that’s how it is built.

Can trust be earned or built after betrayal?

I hope you didn’t come here looking for an answer because it is two weeks after the initial betrayal and I have to be honest..everything still feels raw, horrible, and like I will never be able to breath, much less trust, again.

Don’t betray people. The consequences are far reaching.

For now I am trying to keep my head above water, and get back to a place where I can at least create, and I am focusing all of my energies on my writing.

Because I can’t betray my writing, when it hasn’t done that to me.

This one betrayal has me questioning…gosh everything. But, I am not questioning if I should be a writer, so…

I will write.

Thanks for reading

Abbi

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