Daily Blog #201- Shockingly Bad Monday (First Monday since Coronavirus Lay-off) and the lessons from it

Greetings, blog readers!

Today was my first full, real day unemployed from layoffs due to Coronavirus/COVID-19.

And it was tricky. Had several things go wrong including a ton of blogging and writing that went missing, and now I am just tired as hell. I mean, how much does it suck to have a ton of writing you thought was backed up and ready to go just vanish and no longer be there.

I want to eat a bunch of comfort food, and then eat some popcorn and a soda while watching a movie, and then pass out in a big puddle of fat kid energy, sleeping for a solid twelve hours, maybe aided by a speed aid.

I’ll probably have the popcorn, bed, and then just sleep my usual hours, and try again tomorrow. No point in floundering and making myself feel worse.

Still though, a long day, a tedious day, a frankly positively annoying day, that left my brain feeling like it had been put through the ringer.

But it’s okay. I can have bad days. Hell, I have plenty of time, because I am laid off.

I can try again tomorrow, and tomorrow, I will get it right.

And even if I don’t, it’s okay.

I do have a lot of concerns, and plenty on my plate, so it is okay to forgive myself when I don’t get everything done, when I don’t achieve every goal…there is nothing wrong with just surviving.

I will brush myself off, and keep going. I will find little ways to make myself feel better for tomorrow, like hydrating, stretching, and getting plenty of rest. I will forgive myself for being so tired and drained because I know that not only am I stressed, I am in that awful period right before your period where your body is getting ready for it, and you are exhausted.

I even got a freaking zit today, guys. It has been rough.

But tomorrow will be better. I may still have the zit, but I will keep trying to do better than I did before. I will know I lost my writing, I will be calm, and replace it. I will get more writing done, and I will do better than I did today.

So let this be a lesson to anyone experiencing a bad day. Just because you had one doesn’t mean you can’t do better. Don’t beat yourself up for having a bad day…you already had a bad day, isn’t that enough punishment?

Sometimes, we have bad days. Sometimes we lose entire drafts, we lose chunks of time, we get stuck in pointless conversations, we end up spending the entire day just not feeling okay, and being miserable with ourselves.

That’s okay. Sometimes, that’s just how it is. Sometimes, we have bad days. For me, these days normally fall on a Thursday, and I tend to have good days on Mondays…I guess laid off work on her art Abbi maybe gets “cases of the Mondays” because boy howdy today was tricky as hell.

I got next to nothing done on my to-do list, and I feel like actually lost progress, since not only did I lose writing I had done, the energy drain of that news left me not wanting to write or create anything at all. Not even any new TikToks to keep in my drafts folder.

A tough, annoying, long, rough day. Now it is nearly 3:00 AM, and if my past experiences have told me anything, don’t tempt fate by staying up past “witching hour” when you have already had a bad day. I can feel the energies of this day wanting to wash away and I should let them. I was able to get some good stuff done today, and I have more content planned to film for tomorrow, including some Left 4 Dead content, for the Meta Cafe channel. Some is already up on WeedTube and YouTube I may even start posting twitch streams or something. Who knows.

I just know that today was a rough day, but it was to be expected. I have no idea how long this lay off will last, but I did get my unemployment benefits applied for today, and, I am trying to stay positive. Rumor has it they won’t allow evictions until this blows over, which is good, as the small amount of money I get will go entirely to bills, and there will be nothing left over for groceries, rent, or cannabis. And that is the story everywhere, for so many people.

I personally know people I would gladly give money to, if I had it, so I don’t want to ask for help from others when I know so many need help. It’s tough times right now, and today was kind of a reminder of that, with extra personal stupid stuff also happening, aside from the missing writing files.

Uncertainty is tough, and while I am handling all of this pretty well, I could do well to remember that it’s not going to be easy, and no one expects me to pretend it will be.

I can be a mess and still work on my art, too. So, tomorrow, I will try really hard to be better than I was today.

Already I know that my time will be better used tomorrow, because my rough day helped remind me of my goals, and is helping me refocus on what I truly want to do. Like I mentioned yesterday, goals and to-do lists can change based on what you really want and need. Bad days can help you see what you really want and need even more than good days, so I am taking that as a positive, as a nice life lesson, and a great blog lesson for us all.

So who cares if you had a bad day? I did too. We can all start fresh again tomorrow Fresh Start Monday’s can go sideways, like today did, but Tuesday is a chance to try again. Tomorrow is always a chance to be better than you were before.

May we all be better than we were before, and be able to chase our goals.

Thanks for Reading!

Abbi

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