Greetings and Salutations, my dearest blog readers.
It has been a while since I did a personal update, and I figured now was a perfect time to do so.
For one, I have personal life updates, and while I am also in a bubble of unknown, I do now have some updates that may be of interest to some of you, and, in those updates, another fun little blog lesson or two will likely pop up, because with over a year of blogging under my belt now, I think it is safe to say I am getting better at seeing the life lessons.
Part of the reason I am in a bubble of unknown is because I have several life lessons playing out in front of me, but I think they may end up being bigger ones, which take more time.
But these past few weeks have taught me a few things, so lets update you all and talk about it.
So, first and foremost, for some accountability:
I am behind on vlog posts and blog posts, but no more than would be expected if you have been traveling and also working on editing your work in progress.
Now, while I HAVE been traveling, and while I DID edit and do the massive chapter eleven rewrite, I haven’t done enough writing in the standards I hold myself to, to justify not having uploaded a vlog in two weeks or a blog in one. (ish I think it may be less but whatever. I normally post more)
I have been doing other things, but I have also not worked on my stuff.
But, for the lesson. While I can look at pockets of time i could have squeezed stuff in, I was barreling toward burn out, and I have a lot going on in my life, so that stress could easily cause burn out, none of which I can have. More so when you add up all the time spent on petitions, phone calls, etc, and a few other things I am working on that i don’t post about. A lot of stuff that adds up to approaching burn out.
I needed some me time, some time where I don’t feel bad and I don’t regret not being active.
So, these pockets of time, hours here and there where I could have squeezed in some writing, I didn’t need to force.
Bret and Amanda have been in Austin for a few days now, and the time alone has been very useful. I cleaned a bit the first day, attacking more projects in the bedroom, rearranging things and cleaning up a bit to give more space to make working out easier.
I worked in the living room a bit, and my work space in the bedroom. Then I spent the next two days playing video games, and doing very basic puttering with the lightest amount of thought put towards editing.
Then, I started deep cleaning the apartment, because I was finally able, after two days of just mindless nothing other than killing zombies on Left 4 Dead (1&2) type activity, that my creative well was really low, and my space wasn’t helping.
So, with some help from a dear friend I was able to get some groceries and cleaning supplies and i dug into deep cleaning the apartment.
Reader. I attacked the hallway closet.
I finally cleaned the hallway closet.
I deep cleaned the bathroom, I attacked the ugly, cluttered corner in the kitchen, and even repainted the walls to make them look nicer, touching up the baseboard trim.
Now, on the other side of so much cleaning, I am able to enjoy the work I have done. I deep dusted the living room today, minus Bret’s area, and even cleaned all the parts of the AC filter, giving it a good proper professional style cleaning.
Thing runs like new now, a great thing heading into a very how Texas summer.
I still have cleaning I want to do, but now i have more creative energy, despite not having slept well for a few nights, and having cleaned and worked hard all of those days, I have energy now to devote to creation, not just this blog, but the writing of Flake City, and the editing.
I won’t lie and say the cleaning and the cluttered home was the only thing keeping my creative well tapped but I do know what those other things are, and I don’t know what to do, so instead I am focusing on things I can control and can fix, like the mess, which frankly doesn’t help.
With each mess cleaned, with each bag of trash taken to the dumpster, for every annoying little household project I cross off my disgustingly long to-do list, I breath easier, and I feel more able to create.
I still have more to do, but, I now am feeling the urgency of wanting to create, and the pain of the fact that I still have much editing to do to even come close to staying on track.
Frankly, I need a few more weeks like this where I only focus on what I want and need…but to do that, hell to even think about it, feels selfish.
In this time alone, I realized I would need to really dedicate myself and set myself on strict deadlines to get my self publishing goals for the year met, doing everything on my own, and this evening, that is what I plan on doing, writing out my time line and giving myself some strict deadlines to meet that hopefully I can bash through, the same way i destroy goals in things like NaNoWriMo…I am publishing in less than a year, so that’s the same kind of time crunch that is in the spirit of such a contest, so I am leaning into that can do writer energy to make this happen.
I’ve also done things like tell my mother i wanted to publish Flake City this year so…yeah…kinda forced to hold myself accountable.
My personal life may be enjoying great uncertainty, but I can focus on what I can control. Like a clean home, a nice space to create, and of course, the art I am creating.
For more accountability, I have been doing yoga! Nothing major, and nothing to even really brag about, but I am trying to make sure I do a little something every day, to build up the habit of doing something active. I can work on making those little things everyday longer, along the way of building the daily activity habit.
This will get tricky, as I spend so much time trying to get Flake City done, but thankfully, I am pretty good at juggling things, normally, and I can hopefully time my work outs to help me clear my mind after long writing or editing spurts.
On the editing front, for those updates and lessons.
Like the cleaning, sometimes you just have to do hard work before you can continue with your stuff, and Flake City proved that. When I got to this massive chapter in Flake City, Chapter Eleven, I realized I had done some things wrong and had to do massive rewrites.
I will be doing a bigger blog on this possibly, but let’s just say…Oof. You really do take some hits when you have to delete your hard work to write more hard work and then edit that hard work with more work and then you finally finish and feel uncertain and THEN YOU START CHAPTER TWELVE….
Editing has been hard, but I did finally get through those edits, and it, like the cleaning, prompted a lesson i think we all need.
Sometimes the work is hard. Sometimes you have to bust your ass, put on the cleaning cloves, grab the cleanser, and get to work, detox the entire home. Sometimes you have to power through, edit the chapter, delete the precious words, make the changes.
Sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and help smash systemic and systematic (there is a difference) racism and white patriarchy in this world.
Locally, we are rioting and protesting, and I hope this is the time we finally see change. I hope that this time my apartment finally gets to where I kind of want it, I hope I can get through all of Flake City.
And in ALL of those activities and wants, I will be working tirelessly to see that aim. We smashing the white patriarchy, we making our domicile a home, and we are getting through our creative projects, and smashing our goals.
Because that is the greatest self care of all.
But playing video games is also pretty dope. Also the hot bubble bath I hope to take later.
So that’s about it for the update with some blog lessons, I hope you have enjoyed and found it helpful. I do have some blogs pre-written, and a precious few ideas for a few more blogs, so I do hope to get back to posting a few times a day, while still balancing my Flake City writing. I hope wherever you are, you are pursuing your own goals with fervency, getting some good quality self care time, and of course, helping end racism on this planet.
Thanks for doing all of those, and of course, for reading.