Greetings and Salutations, dearest blog readers!
Today, we are talking about the turkey holiday of this week, to placate the algorithmic gods and fool more people into following my blog based on my food content, just to bait and switch them with my zombie content.
Some call it Thanksgiving, others, Friendsgiving. I call it, an excuse to show off my mad turkey skills. Also, a highly problematic, white washed, colonizer holiday of epic proportions. Most years, I do a big spread, invite all my friends, and we enjoy a family drama free holiday.
This year, however, Covid-19.
AND YET, I can’t help but notice the same people who complain about the holiday, and jealously tell me how much they wish they didn’t have to see their family for turkey day…are frantically arranging ways to endanger themselves and their family, in an effort to have a meal with the same family they hate. (Yes, this is me throwing a small amount of shade)
Every year, I see complaints, and finally, a global pandemic comes and gives everyone a great little excuse, to not have to see family, a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, and still…y’all are fighting to go eat your mee-maws dry ass turkey. (Yeah, I said it. I get real cocky with my turkey skills and most of y’all are eating dry, unbrined, overcooked, unseasoned turkey, ANYWAYS.)
This could be your year to try and make the meal, yourself. And, upshot, all the leftovers are for you, no one is gonna steal your Tupperware while taking a plate for later, and you can stuff your face with no one watching.
The CDC recommends you only have the meal with those living in your house. For me, that means…alone, or, maybe, if I feel risky, those within my “pod”- but even that seems risky.
This is easily one of my favorite holidays because it lets me cook for those I love.
But this year, and looking forward to this next year, hot on the heels of my birthday (I turned 33 on 11/20) I realized- I can still cook for those I love….
Because I am trying to love myself, more and most, so why not make a giant ass perfect spread for myself? And then I can peacefully STUFF MY FACE without ANYONE saying anything, or seeing me in such a way.
This is kind of the greatest gift 2020 could give us for Thanksgiving, but so many of y’all are BLOWING this, by being stuck on some traditional value you romanticized in the months of quarantine.
But remember, you still hate these family functions, the turkey is still dry, your weird uncle is still drinking….Whatever the reason, you KNOW you don’t need your family for a wonderful Holiday, in fact, if you let yourself be real honest, you know that having your family involved will frequently make it tougher, or at least make you have more stress.
If you don’t know how to cook the meal, now is a great time to learn because if you get the timing off or fuck something up, no one but you will notice.
This is a great free trial run guys!
Now, I know many of us are broke- I myself have been laid off since March, but, alas, there are free turkey dinner options, including Ibotta’s little reward program, and a number of charities have donated birds and spreads. I know this doesn’t work for all of us, but please, Google free turkey dinner options and watch how many “click and pick” options are available ONLINE, ready and waiting, because we are still in a pandemic. In the case of Ibotta, the entire meal plus a 2 liter of soda, and it’s all reimbursed for you, so you get that money back. Other programs exist that do much of the same, and, it can also be done fairly cheaply, the meal that is. You don’t need the big family spread, if it is just for you, only make what you need, and if it is just for you, you can go ahead and cheat…in my case, i normally make stuffing AND dressing (BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT DISHES)- and i make them both from scratch, including baking the bread a week before hand to dry out and toast for the stuffing.
This year? It’s just me. And frankly, the generic Kroger stove top stuffing option was .74 cents.
I did a smaller bird, also donated, and I will do my usual three day dry brine on it. If you don’t like green beans? No need for that casserole. Hate the way your Nana makes her mashed potatoes? Guess what? Those are YOUR potatoes now, so you can make them however you want. Don’t like pumpkin pie? Good news! It never has to enter your home! Hell, you don’t need to make a turkey! You can make whatever you want! Guess what vegans/vegetarians, no asshole relative will give you shit for not eating meat! Tofurkey your brains out!
Thanksgiving, Remembrance Day, friendsgiving, Turkey day,… this is a meal. It’s a big meal that during a pandemic you probably don’t need to have with other people outside of your home. I know it may be hard but it also, with the right attitude, can be fucking awesome. Stop lamenting that you are missing out on family time when every other year you can’t stand it. Learn to make the food yourself.
Wear a damn mask, and maybe next year you can see the family members again, and you will remember all the reasons you should have enjoyed this solo holiday more.
It’s not too late to cancel your holiday plans, and go get the stuff to make your own meal. I am alone, so if you need help modifying your holiday dinner plans, shoot me a message- (@abbigrasso-) We will work together and figure out how to get you sorted.
Thanks for reading!
Old Thanksgiving Posts:
Prep– Preparing for the week.
Monday of the holidays– Brining the turkey
Grocery Shopping– Not pandemic edition- WEAR A MASK