Daily Blog #292: Random rant with vague discussions of upcoming writing and secret projects.

Greetings and Salutations, my dearest Blog Readers!

Today is Sunday, May 2, 2021, and my to-do list dictates I write and schedule at least one blog today…which means I have to tear myself away from both Flake City Volume Two, and my secret little project I have been working on. (The later should excite many of you, because the secret project has been requested by several of you) 

So, I have torn myself away from my writing and secret project, and while I sip coffee and watch YouTube, I am going to do a classic style daily blog and update you all on a few things. 

As you may recall, I have been doing a work out challenge, which I am approaching my third week of. In addition to this challenge, I also have been going meatless, for a minimum of thirty days, to see how my body feels. This is one of the changes I didn’t speak about on the first blog post, but, so far I have enjoyed it. It’s actually been pretty simple and laid back, not to mention my body has felt a ton better, for it, so I may keep that going…

Well I’ll keep it going as long as I can…I am likely seeing my family this month and I tend to not be healthy at all around them. I end up smoking cigarettes, eating meat, and rarely having the energy to workout. I am hoping this time won’t be as hard on me as it normally can be, but i will end up eating meat i am sure…

My family lives in one of those towns where if you dare to eat meatless, even for health reasons, everyone acts all offended and weirded out, picking fun and asking a thousand questions, all trying to do some sort of “gotcha!” to the silly girl not eating meat. 

Which always pisses me off, because I literally don’t see why people can’t just leave other people the fuck alone. Live and let live, I thought? I thought right leaning folks wanted to be left alone? THEN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. 

But alas, family, and the people in the area they live in, never, EVER seem to believe in what they say, in this regard. They may SAY that they want to leave everyone alone and be left alone but they really mean they want you to say NOTHING to them, while they butt into your business at every turn and try to change you and what you are doing, even though what you are doing harms NO ONE and your are minding your business. 

If you can’t tell, I am already dreading this. I don’t see why I can’t just…be. Why do I have to explain myself and why I am the way i am and why if that is somehow different from your worldview am I viewed as less than? Weird? Immature or ill informed? Why can’t people who aren’t hurting others just be left to do as they wish? 

No, my family isn’t *always* that bad, but damn, plenty of folks who live in that town are. And my parents, much as I love them, have no idea how hurtful they can be sometimes. Mom will insist I “can eat meat, you like this!” And practically force feed me sausage. I never like sausage. I don’t LIKE pork, and I HATE sausage. But, when I visit my parents, if I don’t eat it, it like, offends them? Last Christmas mom literally was like “no you have to eat this, you love this” and since I didn’t want to be accused of ruining Christmas, I ate it and had a massive stomach ache all fucking day. Literally the autonomy of my decisions, as a woman in her THIRTIES, this woman insists I eat the sausage, undoing said autonomy, for no reason. Everyone in my family loves this stupid sausage, you would think me not eating it would make them happy because then THEY would get more. But nope, I end up having to eat it because “You love this!” even though I don’t. 

Why can’t I just NOT eat the goddamn sausage? I don’t CARE if it’s “The good stuff” I don’t like pork and I hate sausage. 

Whatever- Parents like to insist upon their reality over anything else. My parents are also very Boomer-esque in mentality. 

Anyways, mom also uses me an excuse to smoke, but I’m generally so stressed from being in that town and not having my peace and solitude, so, fuck it, I’ll chain smoke too. Plus side, the town has beautifully clean air and water, so my lungs don’t hurt as much when I chain smoke. I do try to see the perks. 

And it’s not all bad. My family is wonderful. We are just very different people, on HIGHLY different paths. Also, I have been to therapy and my family insists they don’t need it. A hint? Literally everyone needs therapy, if you say you don’t need it, you need it twice as much. In fact as hard as you insist you DON’T need therapy, is how much you DO need therapy. 

My family is great, and I do want to see them. I just wish so much that Me, as I am, who I am, was good enough, and I didn’t have to compromise so much of who and what I am, merely to keep the peace with my family. 

But I do. So, it’s all good. I think I will work out and eat healthy until the visit so the week won’t be so hard. 

Because I do feel better without the meat, and the daily work out, even when I slack off and blow off the yoga, has been feeling better as well. Dare I say I even look better, but mostly, and what matters, is that I feel so much fucking better. 

I have definitely gotten better about doing some sort of activity everyday, and for that, I am very happy. I think I may keep doing the mountain climbers every single day, since it’s fast enough for me to do when i have a spare minute. The yoga, I don’t always make time for, but, I think doing the mountain climbers every day helps me make positive changes that last for the long term. 

So anyways, this blog is getting kind of long, because I ranted about not wanting to eat meat, or at least wanting to be left alone with my choices that impact no one but myself, but, I wanted to update you all on how i am doing.

Namely, I am doing well, busy with a secret project and volume two of Flake City, and trying to make healthy life choices. I hope where ever you are, you are happy and healthy and making choices to find your bliss. 

Thanks for reading,

Abbi 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s