Greetings and Salutations, Blog Readers!
Today we are revisiting my fear of writing out my goals in my planner- to read more about that, check out my blog post.
So, I have done some deep thinking on the topic of my fear of writing out my goals, and I think most of my issues is the fact that if I write them down, I may not succeed, and then I will see my failure spelled out in my own handwriting for me to stare at and feel like a giant bag of fail.
But here is why that is not only silly, but downright damaging and is possibly hindering my ability to actually meet my goals.
It has been proven, anecdotally and in studies, that when you write down your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.
Imagine if my fear of failure is keeping me from succeeding? I mean anything, literally ANYTHING that makes you have a higher chance of success is worth doing, right? That’s the whole point behind reading, eating well, working out and journaling, isn’t it, because ONE of them MAY help your mental unwellness?
Seems like maybe I need to apply that same logic to things like writing down my goals.
Because not wanting to write my goals for fear of failure may stop me from succeeding, but it definitely skirts accountability too, and I hate that shit. I want to hold myself accountable for the goals I have and am pursuing, and to not write them down, I am failing myself.
But I don’t want to beat myself up too much for it, either, because then the fear of failure will come back and I will be right back where I started.
So, I also need to tackle my fear of failure.
“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” comes to mind.
I was never very good at sports, and I have always been a fairly good loser. I lose plenty, and maybe that’s my problem. More experience and skill at losing than at winning.
But I need to break that habit as bad as I need to write my goals down. I can succeed at things, but my own low expectations, meant to keep me from hurting my own feelings, very well may be holding me back.
Then again, it’s only when I remove those expectations that I am able to be free and work as I want, with dedication and passion. This blog is a testament to that, being something, I have been able to update fairly often with semi regular consistency, because I never set out to be some big famous lifestyle blogger, I write for me, and for those who would like what I write, same as my fiction.
I don’t aim to make tons of money or see a ton of success from my writing, for fear of letting myself down…But what if I am letting myself down by not letting my stuff be seen at all? Sure, I don’t need to change my writing, but I could do small things to encourage more people to find my stuff, and then the people who would actually like and benefit from my writing could find it, instead of being happy and content with low readership.
I don’t want to be the kind of blogger who is more concerned with views and SEO than the writing, however, and that isn’t a fear of failure thing, so, the issue there becomes walking a fine line of paying attention to SEO enough to get people who would vibe with my writing, but not so much as to be a pandering blogger interested only in viewership and followers, or other vanity-based metrics.
Because hell no. I am much more of the content with low income if the readers are truly into what I write, type of writer.
I will probably explore if that is born from my fear of failure, but, I have always held true to that line from [Title of Show] “I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing.”
BUT I do need to write my goals down each week and month and get better with chasing my goals, for myself.
Because I can’t keep fucking myself out of success and achievement. I deserve to do the things I have set out for myself.
So, while I can do a simple to-do list (laundry, schedule blog, etc) I can’t do goals.
Therefore, I am going to work on writing my goals down and work towards them and fight my fear of failure. I can’t be someone who fears both success AND failure.
So, this is my official blog post saying it is OKAY to fail at your goals, as long as you try at them. It is NOT okay to fail at them if you don’t even try, and trying normally involves a first step, often known as writing it the fuck down.
And so that is my goal, and I hope you will join me in that goal.
Let me know if you struggle with naming your goals and chasing them, maybe we can all work together to chase our own dreams. In the meantime, as always-
Thanks for reading,