Daily Blog #21 “My writing is good enough, my resting is not.”

Well, today’s daily Blog is up, I bared my soul for all to read. I am currently considering a few different directions for the blog, wondering if EVERY blog is now a daily blog, but some have more of a “article” feel, whereas others are more “I made cold brew and went to the store.”


I like both, and with my cannabis blogs, I want to make sure I am presenting a fun, while still educational format, that can be trusted. With my every day “vlog style” content blogs that I enjoy so much but I do tend to find good lessons that turn into more “article” type blogs.


So, those blogs, the later ones that end up having lessons i have learned from my day to day, or have more “meaty” context, I am left wondering if they are “worthy” of being posted elsewhere, like Medium.


Some people post everyday blog type content to Medium without questioning it, and more still post poetry, or incredibly short form writing, so it’s not like there isn’t a precedence for posting my Daily blogs, even the smaller ones.

Photo by Adeolu Eletu on Unsplash

Why shouldn’t I? All writing is valid, isn’t it? Why should I think, for even a moment, that my daily blogs, be they updates, lessons of life, or even just musings, are some how not worthy of being posted to a paid site, just because “Some people get paid for Medium writing.”


Okay, cool for them, getting paid sounds great, but people being paid shouldn’t stop ME from posting my writing.


Some people may not like WordPress, but they may get a kick out of my writing.–So I loaded yesterday’s blog onto Medium, and I think one of my weekend projects will be uploading my past Daily Blogs to Medium, so I can start posting my Daily Blogs to both.
Anyways, I have work to tend to, so I am going to go do that.

Sunday Night

It’s Sunday night. I have had a pretty emotional weekend, so I haven’t blogged. Going to rest up this evening, because I’m not feeling well, may be getting sick, but I’ll try and get back at it tomorrow and finish this blog, post it in the afternoon and go from there. 

Photo by twinsfisch on Unsplash


Monday afternoon


Well, I took today off, and have spent it mostly in bed. Pretty exhausted, and not feeling very well at all. My throat has been killing me and my head hurts. My stomach doesn’t want much more than light soup, and I can’t keep to regulate my temperature. I am achy, ad it is safe to say I am fully sick. 
So, I took today off, and have been resting pretty dutifully all day. Frequently, when i am sick, I end up doing productive things to make myself feel better instead of just resting and letting myself feel better. 


Later


But now I’m going crazy so I’m gonna get up and change into different lounge clothes, maybe sleep on the couch instead of bed, maybe make some dinner…basically do some light stuff.


So, I started making a batch of chili after getting dressed, and I made up a cold brew to give myself some energy. My throat hurts but I need to be semi productive. I don’t do well resting, more so with it being a Monday and me being quite the Monday go getter. Fresh start Mondays don’t feel as fresh when you start them sick. 


Anyways- I was feeling low all weekend, and now I’m just straight up sick and that’s annoying. I’m tired of feeling like crap. 


I’m also tired of waiting. Bret and I are waiting on so many things- as so many people are, you spend day in and day out working towards a goal, and even when you are actively kicking ass pursuing your goals, you find yourself waiting. Most of the time it’s just waiting  the process out. Like every day get up and eat healthy and work out, but you still have to wait for the results, that’s just life. 


I am tired of waiting, and I know how silly it sounds, but damn, we have many different small things all of which are on timelines. Even moving out of this apartment, can only come after a time period of saving money and finding the right place…and buying a car. Time, even when day in, day out, we are doing the things we need to do to reach our goals, still has to pass before the time comes to move. 


I’m so tired of waiting. And I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of the bad lighting in this place- it’s always so dark, which while nice right now while my head pounds from being sick, is annoying most of the time. All of our photos need extra lighting or editing, content is harder to make, not to mention it can’t be good for our eyes, much less mental health, to always be in an apartment that is so dark. 


I am ordering some small lights, mostly led under cabinet lights to add some more light in the living and kitchen area, where we spend lots of time. We ha e studio lights in the Poshmark room, but without AC in that room, it is incredibly hot. Had the big tropical storm hit Houston as we thought it would, I would have done some pictures of our inventory for the Poshmark store, because when it rains that room gets much more manageable.


Anyways, I’m doing small inexpensive (and can come with us when we move) changes to the apartment to make it more comfortable, but even those changes take time. 
Tedious. 


I fucking hate waiting, and sometimes, I’m known for being highly impatient. 
It’s a process, I know, but it’s a frustrating one. 


So, in the meantime, I’m trying to ignore how annoying the waiting is and focus on what I can control, which while isn’t much, is still more than others have. 

Photo by Taisiia Stupak on Unsplash


Later


Well, I’ve accomplished some stuff, but realized I haven’t gotten today’s blog up yet. Now I’m stuck wondering if I just post tomorrow or post this one late. I think I may post this tomorrow, if I can find a nice way to wrap it up. 


I’m not good at resting, but I know I need to rest, and I also have other writing I need to do, so pressuring myself to write ANOTHER blog tonight, on top of the writing I want to get done, I just don’t think I have that much energy. 


I do have the ability to pace myself and not hold it against myself that I won’t get a blog up every day this week- that’s okay! I may or may not do Blogmas, but for right now it’s a random Monday in July in which I’m sick, there is no reason to push myself more than I am already going to push myself.


Anyways, I made a batch of my good chili for Bret, and I may have too but my stomach also may not allow that- if so, I have some oriental flavor ramen that will totally be awesome – as well as some hard boiled eggs I can toss in there to make it a bit more rounded, so either way dinner is sorted and I even managed to wash a bunch of dishes and tidy up the kitchen.


 I need to make a list of to do’s for the week, to get and keep the apartment clean, I’ve been working on a new method of house cleaning which works best for me when I look at the cleaning as a week process not a day long process. 


Overall, because I am totally crap at resting, I am trying to keep my actions as simple or low effort as possible- doing the dishes and sweeping did tire me out a bit, so I’m hoping I can stick to planning for the week and writing to keep it simple.


Monday Evening


Well, I was able to get a little bit done as well as take it easy. I know I should have rested more, but I also feel good about the work I did today, so I can be better suited to kicking ass tomorrow and the rest of the week.


Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your future self, and this week seems to be a bunch of tests on that very thing. 


I need to keep my head down and keep creating, and that is what I plan on doing. 

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